HOMESTAR RUNNER: A BEGINNER’S GUIDE
The year is 2003. It is a kinder time, a simpler time.
Every single one of your classmates knows how to draw Trogdor the Burninator - first, you draw an S, then you draw a more different S.
"Everybody to the Limit" is a staple at middle school dances.
Your best friend’s little brother owns a plush The Cheat, and you can kick it, and it makes noise.
The year is 2003, the golden age of Homestar Runner.
Basically, every online content creator, every webcomic artist, every YouTube entertainer, owes Homestar Runner a shitload.
Once upon a time, Homestar Runner was the definitive Flash site, an online destination for kids and immature grown-ups alike, fielding millions of hits and thousands of e-mails a day.
Homestar Runner, the earnest athlete with a pure heart and a love for mankind, and his arch-nemesis, Strong Bad, a wrestler with a penchant for issuing snarky responses to fanmail, defined a generation through weird, surrealist Flash cartoons tinged with outdated pop cultural references.
Ten years later, there’s a new generation of Internetters who have never experienced the pure, unadulterated joy of H-Star-R, and that breaks my heart.
So, here, I’ve compiled this beginner’s guide to Homestar Runner. Every cartoon on this list is shorter than five minutes. Get into it. Do yourself a favour.
STEP ONE: STRONG BAD E-MAILS
- japanese cartoon
- stunt double
- kids’ book
- different town
- for kids
- bedtime story
STEP TWO: TEEN GIRL SQUAD
Episodes #1-15 are available here. Watch them all.
STEP THREE: SHORTS
- An Important Rap Song
- Where My Hat Is At?
- Best Caper Ever
- Play Date
- The Homestar Runner Gets Something Stuck In His Craw
- One Two, One Two
- Fluffy Puff Commercial
STEP FOUR: TOONS
Just the claps.
Matt Chapman, the brother who did most of the voices, went to FSU. At one point I went over there for a party and met him and got him to record the outgoing message on my voicemail. I felt like a god.
Ima go pour out a 40 of melonade in memory of the H star R.
This is important.
Funny; I’d identified a recent resurgence among my friends and coworkers in Homestar Runner references and nostalgia. Seems the rest of the internet is experiencing the same thing. (Oh, and if you’re new to this whole thing, the above is a fantastic guide to the greatest hits. Go watch. Now.)
The instructions needed to build an Ikea bookshelf
- Place the wooden pegs into the side of the large board.
- Put the screws into the same board. There are two almost identical types of screws, so you’ve got a 50/50 chance of using the right one.
- Put the two small boards on top of the large board.
- The small boards are facing the wrong way. Do it again.
- Get the other large board to put on top of the small boards. Does it already have a scratch on it? Too bad.
(and ten more steps…)